1. be more glam. make-up, high heels. hair. earrings. more skirts. more fashion conscious. nail polish. etc. etc.
2. find one thing to believe in/worship. doesn't matter what it is. maybe isis. maybe ganesha. maybe my boyfriend's flat abs. just want to have something to fall back on when things get hard. something spiritual.
3. more body acceptance. i'm doing pretty well with this so far. but i refuse to keep hating my belly and the moles on my face. people paid me and my pornographer good mon…
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Added by CocoaPuss Zine on December 24, 2009 at 3:34pm —
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i have all this free time on my hands and no real plans. i have three books to read, but i'm just not all that interested in reading michelle tea or about stripping or feminist theory or any of that.
i'm almost afraid to write because i keep thinking i'm going to hurt someone's feelings. i feel too connected. everyone is friends on facebook, myspace, afropunk, blacquewidowdolls, etc so i can't really write about anything without everyone knowing what i'm talking about. i don't have any privacy…
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Added by CocoaPuss Zine on December 20, 2009 at 1:16am —
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someone just told me that they loved my zine and bought it at the milwaukee zine fest which is quite interesting because i was not there and didn't give anyone permission to sell my zine there. so people are making money off my stories which are my life and what i actually do every single day and i'm not getting paid for it, which is quite fucked up.
i actually know who this is, and i know it's probably a misunderstanding, but i'm still angry about it and overall have PMS and think everyone aro…
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Added by CocoaPuss Zine on December 9, 2009 at 5:07pm —
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and i'm not going to apologize for it today. i'm just going to feel it and embrace it and tomorrow i'll be fine. anger is a healthy emotion and i don't think women experience it enough. i can't keep it in and i refuse to pretend like everything's fine when it so obviously isn't. all day long people have been pissing me off. and i still haven't started my paper yet or studied for my exam really. i have a serious anger problem sometimes, my whole family does. i don't think i've allowed myself to r…
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Added by CocoaPuss Zine on November 22, 2009 at 7:04pm —
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1. please don't let this ever end.
2. please don't let me get too far ahead of myself.
3. please help me to not procrastinate on every single thing.
4. please let me be closer.
5. please help me to remain the same as i've always been.
6. please help me to grow stronger.
7. please let me be more trustworthy and worthy of trust.
8. please give me wisdom, especially this week when it will be tested.
9. please give me the right words to say.
10. please give me the courage to say them.
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Added by CocoaPuss Zine on November 22, 2009 at 5:17am —
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that's how i feel right now. i'm done trying. i can't even think anymore. school kicks my ass, not necessarily the academic part but the social aspect, the whole idea of being a cohort, of being with the same people day in day out for two years. all of them are friends. all of them do things on the weekend and study together and hangout and giggle all the fucking time. i hate giggling. of course all of these people are white.
i'm the radical one. the one that disagrees, that challenges the teac…
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Added by CocoaPuss Zine on November 19, 2009 at 7:03pm —
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1. to get dicked down regularly by one person who i know actually gives a shit about me and who i adore. i want him to remember my middle name and know the town i was born in and know that like really like juice. i want to look up at him and be able to smile because i just feel safe and secure and on the verge of orgasm. if i can't look you in the face it isn't really worth it. (if you are a guy reading this, you have no chance with me, and the guy i do like will embarrass you if you say somethi…
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Added by CocoaPuss Zine on November 4, 2009 at 8:27pm —
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i get that a lot. people who don't have to do x,y,z but know that i am hard at work, struggling to keep it together, and wonder how i manage to get it all done. it's not that i want to do 50 million things at one time, it's just that there isn't any other way. in high school, when i was on chemo pills and had an IV in my arm and was going to the doctor three times a week for infusions that would make me sick, tired, and covered in hives, people would say "i could never do that". and what am i su…
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Added by CocoaPuss Zine on November 1, 2009 at 10:49am —
6 Comments
this is my second real attempt at being part of the AP community and i'm seriously considering leaving again. i was hoping this would be a safe place for me to talk to other like minded people and not be made fun or degraded or talked down to, which happens in my real every day life daily. i wanted to bond with other people and talk about music and learn more about punk culture and make friends with other women. and for the most part i have done that, and i'm happy about all the friendships i've…
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Added by CocoaPuss Zine on June 22, 2009 at 4:14am —
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is going very well. i haven't sold any zines in a minute but i'm not exactly out promoting it everywhere. i've gotten some publicity and just sent it out to 5 distros. i have no idea when or if i'll hear anything back from them but it would be awesome to at least get a rejection letter instead of just nothing.
i'm really broke though and hope i get picked up by at least one of them. i don't know. i hope so. i really like being a writer. selling zines is just kind of a bonus.
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Added by CocoaPuss Zine on March 31, 2009 at 3:20am —
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man there are not even that many of you, but you really make your presence well known. you argue all the time over nothing. anything anyone says gets taken the wrong way and you chose to have some long drawn out discussion quoting everyone and responding and getting angry and then i look at your page and think "oh that person is single and takes lots of quizzes" nevermind.
people need to get laid more. i think the reason why APs are so mean and nasty sometimes and hate on each other and talk ab…
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Added by CocoaPuss Zine on March 31, 2009 at 3:18am —
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i used to be on here a long time ago and then just got sick of it and quit all of a sudden and now i'm back in a sense, but i definitely don't think it will be the same. it's kinda sad to see that some of the same stuff is still one here (discussions on dating and interracial relationships etc) but nice to see that a few things have changed. it's funt o read the discussions and see what people have been up to but weird in a sense because overall it's all kinda the same so far. i've only been bac…
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Added by CocoaPuss Zine on March 18, 2009 at 2:28am —
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