Raising punk kids

[XiaMin]

Do you feel your folks did a good job encouraging you in whatever ways you were "different" or did they try to shut you down? How do you plan to or have had you dealt with your kids as they enter adolesence/start expressing their independence and indivduality (whether they lean towards punk or not)?

Personally my mom was the "why are you trying to be white/who do you see when you look in the mirror" type and it made my life hell so I have always planned to be conscious of giving supportive guidance no matter what route my daughter chooses. she just entered jr high this year. it's a challenge but so far so good i think. my mom, unfortunately is acting the same way toward her as she did me ex. my daughter got some pink clip in highlights the other day and was so nervous and excited to wear them out. the first thing my mom said upon seeing her was "you look like a freak". I took her aside and explained how crazy granny is. At least she has me as a buffer, I never had anyone.

what about you guys???

[RED REBEL]

growing up i got a whole grab bag of reactions from my family. of course there was those who didnt care, or were too polite to say anything...to my face. that really didnt bother me much as it was typically extended family i didnt see much anyways. my mother was supportive in her own way. it always went a lil something like why are you doing that? because i want to while siting my good grades, community service, maturity, and responsibility as the product of open expression and acceptance. that usually shut up the home branch. my two younger sisters, at first rejected my "anti-ghetto" as they called it, approach to style. but i think who i was despite my appearance made the difference with them. Now they both have tattoos and piercings...Im really tired of them getting the same piercings! Now its not really an issue and im trying to get my mother to get a tattoo. I got her to pierce her ears!!!

when it comes to my children anything goes. their father and i are both pretty liberal minded and want our children to be so as well. i tell my daughter regularly to question authority...being bigger, older, smarter, or whatever doesnt always make you right. and what is right for you may not be right for me. everything from what she eats to what she wears is a choice, but mom and dad have override. nothing is ever just no, but no because. as much as i hate to say it she is a pink loving princess and i dont see her being a metal head like her ma. although when it comes to her musical stylings its tool over pop any day of the week!! and i love that. she has asked for tattoos and piercings. she is totally aware of whats involved as she has seen her fair share of both. she wants a lip ring and a tat on her back...pink and purple butterfly of course. my son is just a year so we will see, but i plan to take the same approach with him.

[Da' Bladewielder]

I'm raising my son (he's 17 and high school senior) to think for himself and not take what the family or society dictates what is acceptable.
My parents had a harder time dealing with my love for photography (can't make a living--get a real job) & my punkness--tattoos, short nappy hair/dreadlocks, more than two earrings in one ear, ripped jeans/t-shirts . That was in the 80's. Ever since then they have been trying to change me with snide comments, but I'm still the same--older 'n wiser and my son thinks its great that I've raise him to live a life less ordinary.
Stay strong , honest with your kids and they will follow your lead

[Adria]

I was lucky enough to have a supportive mother, everyone else either tolerated or did not approve. Mom never questioned my hair color ("it's just hair, it doesn't change who you are!" she would say), my clothes, she didn't care! She knew who I was and that she raised me well enough to not act a damn fool in public, so it was nothing to her. And that's what I plan to do with my daughter. She's only four, but showing some signs of individuality and I encourage her to be herself. It will always be to me what it was to my mom; as long as she's not hurting herself or someone else it's not even an issue. There's worse to worry about when raising kids!

It's awesome that your daughter has YOU for backup.

[XiaMin]

Thanks! Hopefully one day my daughter will say the same thing you did, that she was lucky enough to have a supportive mother :)

Adria said:

I was lucky enough to have a supportive mother, everyone else either tolerated or did not approve. Mom never questioned my hair color ("it's just hair, it doesn't change who you are!" she would say), my clothes, she didn't care! She knew who I was and that she raised me well enough to not act a damn fool in public, so it was nothing to her. And that's what I plan to do with my daughter. She's only four, but showing some signs of individuality and I encourage her to be herself. It will always be to me what it was to my mom; as long as she's not hurting herself or someone else it's not even an issue. There's worse to worry about when raising kids!

It's awesome that your daughter has YOU for backup.

[Satra Sia]

Wow

You took me back to when I wanted to become a ballarina I was told no "it's for white girls" but I just think my mom couldn't afford it. I will also tell my daughter to become whomever she wants also to be positive and honest.

Hell when I cut out my perm and put tiny box braids all over I got laughed at and called Lauryn Hill, when I wore head wraps I was called Badu in H.S. so you have to step out and be your bold true self....lolz

And that fact that you are supportive to your daughters changes is great because a little support goes a long way...