Goths of Color

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Comment by Mlle d. Sade on March 19, 2009 at 11:08pm

It's hard to pick your field of study when you aren't sure what you want to do because your identity is still not crystal clear. We all know no one wants a dead end job but one person's dream is another's dead end. I know I don't want to spend my career in cramped 4 walls doing the same thing day in day out being just another cog in the no individuality machine, I also know I don't want to live a life by a script full of regrets. I'm 20 right now and I'm probably going through what her son is going through. Everyone is going "hurry up! pick something!" and rushing you to pick the rest of your life and a lot of mistakes come from letting people (parent or not) rush you. For me knowing yourself is the same as knowing what to do- if you don't then how should you have a clue?
I can't just keep my head down and work, ignoring the person inside me. I'm tired of ignoring myself- I'm done with just living by other people's script working because I have to, that's no way to live life. It's very frustrating. I'll pick something from being rushed and be so miserable with it I can't even get out of bed in the morning.

Comment by Zel on March 19, 2009 at 10:59pm

I hope that 'not knowing who you are' is not being used synonymously with 'not knowing what to do.' Developing a good sense of personal ethics, morals, standards for what one does and does not want in their life is very important... I would say more important then how one earns their bread unless it undermines the ethics one is trying to build on... but that could be out of context from the discussion.

Comment by Mlle d. Sade on March 19, 2009 at 10:30pm

20 is a little early to be expecting someone to know who they are or to have things all planned out. It's hard to determine your life's path when you don't know who you are yet.

Comment by Afrotechnica on March 19, 2009 at 9:12am

My son is trying to find himself. Its all way too late in my opinion. He'll be 20 this year. Having not thought about his direction after setting out $65K for education is very disconcerning as a parent but "We live. We learn. We pay the bill when it comes every month :(
Thanks for the insight everyone.

Comment by Mlle d. Sade on March 18, 2009 at 8:27pm

Yeah I consider myself to have a lot in common w/ goth sensibilities but I don't wear black all of the time- more like most of the time. But still. ..I always felt like an outsider in punk because it wasn't my style- visually or mentally. I think goth suits me much better.

Comment by Zel on March 18, 2009 at 7:46pm

hmm, I would go so far to say that you don't need to be dressed in black/makeup/anks/etc. to be goth. I am morbid, dark, morose, 'gothic' in likes, personality, and aesthetics, but no, I am not always garbed up. I would say more often than not I am not garbed up. That has more to do with practicality (work and school professionalism.) Though being 'gothic' is a natural state of my mind

lol @ 'I'm so goth I refuse to say it' - love it! lol

Comment by Colette von Strange on March 18, 2009 at 2:53pm

Goth is not a fad... its a lifestyle. No, Im not tryin to be all heavy but its true. Some teens go through phases ( I should know). And just because he wears alot of skulls and doesnt open his blinds, doesn't mean he's a goth. It just means... he's a teenager! I see the goth culture as being usually in touch with your feelings and listening to music and dressing the way that makes you feel that you have completely expressed yourself...

Comment by Boudica on March 17, 2009 at 6:49pm

Hm. I'll have a go.

Well, I think that at face value your son meets quite a few "standards" of goth including interests, visual taste, attitude, etc. However, if he chooses not to identify as goth that would mean one of two things: he truly doesn't identify with the subculture and should not be labeled as such (the line between goth, punk, and metal dress is getting blurrier by the year), or he's attempting to be the badass "I'm-so-goth-I-refuse-to-say-it."

As for the "other stuff," those are regular human characteristics, none of which I think have ever been associated with or promoted within the goth culture. Another site I like (and a lot of parents seem to like as far as explanations go) is Gothic Charm School.

I hope that helps,

Boudica

Comment by Afrotechnica on March 17, 2009 at 9:39am

I think my son is a closet goth but he refuses to acknowledge it. Don't get me wrong. Its no big deal if he is.
Here are the signs: keeps the shades pulled down (dark room), lives in his room way too much, heavily into wolves and vampire movies, reads 60 days of Night all the time, wears skull/crossbones single earring, saved verticals in his eye brow. No piercing or tats because he's broke.
Then there's the other stuff: lazy, don't want to work, undependable, slacker, yada yada yada. But that's another story...

What ya thing?

Comment by Les Figurines on March 13, 2009 at 11:23am

Yeah1Glad I found this website and your group!
Long live Goth music!
Drakness is great!
Steevo from - Les Figurines -

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