Sex Positive

[Mlle d. Sade]

Thoughts on sex positive feminism?
Taking back the power?
Sexual prejudices.
What is it?!!

Feeling suffocated? Feel choked? Is everyone around you a prude? Does having a vagina seem more like having an open wound instead of a mysterious gift?

I get it, people seek to take the art out of sex because it takes the power away from the women and turns them into lobotomized slaves. Almost people.

Then you add in the ho-phobia and the demonization of women who dare to enjoy sex outside of a "committed relationship". ..we can only be wives and girlfriends to be good. Anything else is bad- but men fully enjoy it. And then to be a victim. ... a repressed victim.

Here's something interesting I found:
http://www.anniesprinkle.org/html/about/sprinkle_story.html

"In February of 2002, Annie Sprinkle received her Ph. D. in Human Sexuality from the Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality, in San Francisco. She is now a certified sexologist,and the first porn star in history to earn a Ph.D. Her dissertation topic was “Providing Educational Opportunities For Adult Industry Workers”. Sprinkle has been a pivotal player in the sex workers rights movement for years, has worked to help make sex workers happier and healthier and to fight ‘ho-phobia, social stigmas and prejudice. She is currently on the board of the St. James Infirmary in San Francisco, a free full-service health care clinic for sex workers."

” A post-porn modernist and a pro-porn optimist, Sprinkle is, of course, not as naive as she sounds. However, she does seem unconscious about how incredibly radical her vision is. Her feminism is not about victimhood: she completely transcends expectations of what she herself should be and also of what is supposed to be sexy. …Her exuberant honesty reveals cultural repression for the sick and twisted thing it is. To hear her talk wistfully about a sexy amputee lover, or to see her video of unconventional-looking women rolling around in orgasmic ecstasy, is shocking. But shock leads to the realization of one's own sense of prejudice. Annie Sprinkle is such a strong personality that she bestirs in her audience a sense of embarrassment -- not for her, but for the impotent prudery of the dominant culture.”

[LesYpersound]

oh no, man whores are people too...just not folk i'd be busting doors down to hang out with (and vice versa i'm sure).
and i didn't mean professionals i meant male "sluts", i've got respect for ppl who sell their sex over folks who can't control themselves or think sex solves some kind of problem in their empty lives. it ain't about ppl who just enjoy having sex and feeling their love deeply, etc.
in short, the type of fucking around i'm referring to is the completely irresponsible ("fuck the pain away") kind where ppl end up with STIs and unplanned babies and keep. on. going.

[Mlle d. Sade]

Ah, yeah. That shit. I think the fuck the pain away fucking is a product of sexual repression and totally not helping the freedom. I wish I could understand it better so I can help "fix" it. It's everywhere we look and I'm at a loss.

LesYpersound said:

oh no, man whores are people too...just not folk i'd be busting doors down to hang out with (and vice versa i'm sure).
and i didn't mean professionals i meant male "sluts", i've got respect for ppl who sell their sex over folks who can't control themselves or think sex solves some kind of problem in their empty lives. it ain't about ppl who just enjoy having sex and feeling their love deeply, etc. in short, the type of fucking around i'm referring to is the completely irresponsible ("fuck the pain away") kind where ppl end up with STIs and unplanned babies and keep. on. going.

DJ Random Brotha said:

But I sade, i'm not a woman, so of course i'm gonna have some biased opinion about it. Why? IDK.
my fetishizes? i think i don't have any to be complete honest.

Did I say you had fetishes or that you were being biased? But I am not about to derail my thread for someone getting butt sore and taking it personally.

This isn't about you, this isn't about men- this isn't an attack on men (despite what you and Sekou think- nothing I say is an attack on men, too bad the only dude that understands that is gone, now)- this is about the right to fuck and the right to profit. And the work of being sex positive.

[Mlle d. Sade]

I agree. We live in a puritanical society. Women who show off their bodies might as well be giving blow jobs on the street with the way we are conditioned to treat ("she looks sexy. she must be easy") and the "noble" conditioning some men (particularly neo black types) have with being disgusted by all women but the "sistah" who appears asexual and only becomes sensual "for her man".

And then of course we have the free roaming sexual beasts who will call a woman they just fucked a "ho" with disgust and contempt. This whole train of thought around purity, sexuality, female bodies (especially men who have a weak spot for legs, cleavage and ass- the women who knows how to package herself provocatively is also a dirty whore because she is mans' [euphemism, society] worst nightmare) and "sins" is one of the reasons hooker killing is so popular.

Q.A.Bradford said:

Its funny how theres this image that we guys are seen as these free-roaming sexual beasts that have so much sensuality and freedom. We tend to be the least sensitive, sensual creatures stuck in some sort of "hypermasculanized-cant-make-a-sound-deviate-from-macho-average" straight jacket. And women who carry a gender role that is full of sensualism, accentuation and neurobody acknowledgement are convinced of being sex-negative because their loves "purity" rides on it.

In my eyes we're all oppressed sex-negative creatures and the only true sex-positive folks are the poor desperate souls out their roaming as "professionals" or "whores" (tomato, tomahto) on the internet.

The real problem is the lack of sensuality for men and women in a hypermasculine/ hyperfeminine society of instant gratification and easy human marginalization.

[Rosenda]

We women should do what makes us feel good and safe and powerful and sexy as hell, whatever and whom withever that is that we choose. We should not feel scared about it or ashamed about it, whether you want to have more than a few partners or just one at a time. It's all good because it SHOULD be all good. Sex is amazing. Affection is amazing. Being touched is amazing. Whether the sexuality is beautiful and soft or rough intense hard whatever variation at any time or however often you want that orgasmic ecstasy, it is ours to claim and rejoice in no matter what. Yeah not everyone is gonna agree with our choices and some will make fun of you or put you down, saying you're either not free enough or too free entirely, but whose body is it? OURS. Ain't nobody else's unless I CHOOSE to give it to you or anyone else, man or woman. It is MY fucking choice. Even if you or I share our body with someone we like, it's still OUR body. I can say yes or I can say no. As long as you are with someone who you are mutually enjoying each other the fullest at that moment or over a lifetime, and you ain't gonna lose you life over it, DO IT.

[Mlle d. Sade]

If only the world could see it as basic as this. There'd be no more abortion debate and sex worker's would finally have protection instead of the punishing scorn of a puritanical yet sex crazed society where it's bad to be sexual unless you're doing it pro-bono for the benefit of the men folk. I wish I had someone with a mind like yours around me in my daily life, Rosenda.

Rosenda said:

We women should do what makes us feel good and safe and powerful and sexy as hell, whatever and whom withever that is that we choose. We should not feel scared about it or ashamed about it, whether you want to have more than a few partners or just one at a time. It's all good because it SHOULD be all good. Sex is amazing. Affection is amazing. Being touched is amazing. Whether the sexuality is beautiful and soft or rough intense hard whatever variation at any time or however often you want that orgasmic ecstasy, it is ours to claim and rejoice in no matter what. Yeah not everyone is gonna agree with our choices and some will make fun of you or put you down, saying you're either not free enough or too free entirely, but whose body is it? OURS. Ain't nobody else's unless I CHOOSE to give it to you or anyone else, man or woman. It is MY fucking choice. Even if you or I share our body with someone we like, it's still OUR body. I can say yes or I can say no. As long as you are with someone who you are mutually enjoying each other the fullest at that moment or over a lifetime, and you ain't gonna lose you life over it, DO IT.

[Mlle d. Sade]

I've found a lot of great links, blogs etc., about sex work and sex workers' rights.

Helpful sites:
http://redlightchicago.wordpress.com/
http://aidsaction.org.au/swop/workers_resource_kit/general_info/sta...
http://resources.tampep.eu/resources_EN.html

Articles:
http://china.blogs.time.com/2009/01/29/our-sex-workers-need-protect...
http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2009/12/17/3001733-intern...
http://ipsnews.net/africa/nota.asp?idnews=46018

And of course, the not illegal in any way classic Burlesque
http://www.burlesquehistory.com/burlesque_book.html

One of many awesome sites from an awesome woman
http://www.stripper-faq.org/