Really need advice...lol

[Charelle]

I need help you guys, advice, criticism, something lol. I'm like having the worst teenage crisis ever. Feeling like I have no purpose, going nowhere life, self-esteem issues, Lord Jesus I could go on and on. I just feel like I'm useless and unwanted at times. The thing that really set it off is seeing my friends looking more happy with other people and less happy with me. If they leave me they are my only friends what am I gonna do. I don't fit in with my peers. I'm quiet but it's because I think everyone will think I'm boring. No boy has ev er pursued me and that makes me think I'm undesirable, ugly, etc. I'm so jealous of my best friend because she has every quality I would like to have and it's destroying our friendship. I want to have more friends, be a the strong independent woman I want to be....Will this better in my college years? I know for a fact I need to start thinking more positively. Lol, for some reason I really want a boy as my best friend...I've never really had one. Is it good to hope things like that? What if it doesn't happen? I've read the book The Secret and it says whatever you think about will be in your hand. Also, that no purpose feeling is the worst feeling ever.

Thanks for listening and replying. Sorry about the jumbled mess.

[Darkness Unlimited*]

Have you tried acting out in violence? That usually gets folks' attention.

[Whitney Summer]

Where as I wouldn't suggest self-inflicting pain to get attention, I would suggest focusing on liking yourself first. Usually when you like yourself and don't give a crap of what others think about your image, that's when people are most attracted to you. So, maybe you can start by writing a list of your best traits and another list of things you want to work on. Then focus on making yourself a more likeable person to yourself: once you like hanging out with yourself, everyone else that will appreciate you will simply flock to you.

[kifaru]

Well, having a boyfriend is not all its chalked up to be. Just go ask some of these broken hearted women around here and some of the ones around you. You probably don't want a male as a best friend right now because you will end up sleeping with him and that will mess you up too.

Self esteem issues are a trip bet you can overcome them by finding something that you know you are good at Likewise since you're still in highschool you got time.

Things like having nice clothes can make you feel good but the high is short lived and you have to keep buying the clothes. You could try getting yourself fit if you are not but the kind of attention you will get will be sexual and you really don't want that. What you need to do is first start smiling Greet people nicely and they are usually nice back. Don't act like a pariah. People take that as you being an ass not them. Making friends is not always easy but try and look for the people who are open for friendship. You say you got a friend? Make friends with her friends but for god sakes let that jealousy go. Remember, "She is your friend."

No it will not get better in college unless you actively seek to make it better and seek to make friends.

[Gullah*Gotham*Glitter]

There are some things that you go through as a teenager that are all due to hormones. There are a lot of thigns that I use to say and do as a teen that I look back on and think is ridiculous. So yeah some things once you get older will calm down. Other things you will have to work on yourself.

If you hear people talking about something you know something about, chim in and give you two cents. Try to participate more in class. To raise your self esteem workout more, buy a new outfit or get your hair done. All of these things seem really small but they can make a world of difference. Have you talked to your best friend? I'm sure tha she has some insecurities also. And seriously at your age a male best friend may not be a good idea due to the fact that most dudes are trying to fuck. So unless he's gay I wouldn't reach out for any male friends. I hope you feel better and I hope this helps=)

[Darkness Unlimited*]

I can tell you this: what ever torment you [think] you're going through now, i suggest you learn to appreciate every minute ov it. Being a teenager is nothing... you have NO idea what you're in for.

[Mlle d. Sade]

I really don't know what to say. I'm sure I have felt like you feel at some point or probably still do but I've repressed it.

Boys at your age are stupid and easily fooled by something shiny. Don't pay attention to them. I would not put too much stock into what a boy your age thinks and especially not what girls your age think. Kids are stupid but they're supposed to be that way.

You probably are not boring.

Being a strong independent women doesn't happen overnight. It takes years of finding a balance on the inside.
I wouldn't worry about trying to be a strong independent woman because it's making you think you are not worthy or purposeful.
Just have fun and be a kid, don't worry about being a strong independent woman right now.

And think more positively, RIGHT NOW!

I'm not sure why you would specifically want a boy as a bff. The only thing I can think of is maybe you want to be validated by a boy?
Since you say you've never been pursued by one. I totally understand that insecurity. Once you start thinking positively that will change.

You should look into talking to a counselor to help you.

You have a purpose, you just haven't found it yet. I don't really think not having a set purpose is bad, I think it's pretty good. A purpose is different from ambition and you seem to have the ambition to be more.

Edit for girl stuff: Looking nice and feeling cute might help you feel more confident around others. And if you take care of yourself it shows that you value yourself. When I look like shit (which is almost all the time) I don't feel my best. It doesn't even have to be extreme- just maybe paint your nails or something simple like that. If that's your type of thing.

[Mlle d. Sade]

This. Life is really all about YOU, not what other people think. You have to have self worth above all else. Get to know yourself.

Whitney Summer said:

Where as I wouldn't suggest self-inflicting pain to get attention, I would suggest focusing on liking yourself first. Usually when you like yourself and don't give a crap of what others think about your image, that's when people are most attracted to you. So, maybe you can start by writing a list of your best traits and another list of things you want to work on. Then focus on making yourself a more likeable person to yourself: once you like hanging out with yourself, everyone else that will appreciate you will simply flock to you.

[Compound Egret]

Charelle,

These types of thoughts and feelings are part of the human experience. They are very common. People experience them far beyond high school.

Find something positive you can do that makes you feel good about yourself. I know in some of your past posts you have mentioned different musical interests. Playing music gives me something else to focus on besides worries and when I can hear my own improvement it definitely gives me a positive feeling.

Take time out and really do some reading and research on what purpose and direction you want to take in your life. I suspect this will also make you feel better.

Good luck.

[NpyHedBlkChld]

Exactly what every energy you put into yourself, you ultimately send out into the universe and eventually it returns to you.

feel what you are feeling are a normal part of the life. the key is not losing control and letting our decisions and energies be controlled by the things that happen to us.

when ever i start to feel like that....i start writing out everything i like about myself i like and everything about myself i dont like and focus on doing things that make the good better and the bad things go away...i look at that list at least 2x a day. and it really helps but you gotta be 100 percent honest w/ yourself

hope that helps

[stefany]

I know what you mean about feeling like you have no purpose. It might be easier to start smaller. Pick something you're passionate about, no matter how random you think it is. Something to focus on and keep you busy so you don't have as much time to feel sorry for yourself. Bonus points if it's something that forces you to work with other people. You never know who you might meet in the process. And maybe it'll turn into something bigger.

You say you're quiet because you think people will find you boring. I'm naturally introverted myself. Thing is, a lot of people perceive us quiet folk as kind of bitchy or snobby, like we can't be bothered to talk to anyone. And that's totally not it! It's super awkward at first, but you really have to force yourself out of your comfort zone. You just do. You might never be a social butterfly, but not everyone is meant for that. But once you start reaching out eventually you'll find you have this network of people who really do appreciate you for who you are.

It's not an age thing, trust me. I've seen people way older than you or me go through this. Quite simply (or not so simply), decide you want to be awesome. Then start acquiring the characteristics that, in your opinion, make a person awesome. It could be as simple as getting that sick haircut you always wanted. Or maybe you want to, I dunno, be a kickass drummer. Start lessons. It's a really good ego boost, and people notice.

Also, boys are fun and often hot as hell. They can also be a huge pain in your ass. Try not to worry *too* much about them right now if you can. I know. Easier said than done.

Sincerely--good luck. I'm probably not a whole hell of a lot older than you (as much as I like to pretend I'm grown...I'm just 22.) and I still deal with stuff like this.

[Rathryn]

For me this might be a little different being of the opposite sex and from a completely unrelated geographical and demographical area, but heck.
Anyway first things first, I do catch your drift, a bit too well for my liking, and all I can say about it is this: YOU are going to be stuck with YOU for the rest of your life, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. This makes your entire life revolve around you.
You've listed the traits you don't like, but what have you done to change them (that sounded more harshly than I mean it, but I think it got your attention)? I'm 23 and I've felt like crap most of my own life, until I started realising it's not about them, but me.
Apart from that you're pretty young, which means that it's also kind of part of growing up to feel like you've lost control and gone adrift. You on the other hand realise this and seem to be willing to do something about it. There's lots more that repress or ignore it and then there's the ones that run away from it in drugs, alcohol or self-injury even.
So speaking of positive, methinks there's enough, you just have to realise it.
If that doesn't work, I usually cheer up some when I listen to more fast-paced, up-beat music, it might clear your head of enough negative cobwebs to think more positively.

[Darkness Unlimited*]

Have you thought about going on a shooting? I don't believe there's ever been a Black Female - provocated shooting before... you could be the FIRST ONE. Be sure to target only your worst enemies, & try not to get any ov your OWN people. Make a video ov what you're about to do & put it on YT. And even if it might not be true, blame it all on your christian up-bringing.

Just remember to dis-associate yourself from this site before-hand. I might stand out here & i'm still on probation. You go, girl...