I'm Just Friggin' Invisible! Or Pretty Damn Visible! Or SOMETHING!

[Myra H.]

Since my dad died 3 months ago I've just been working, going out, and grieving. I've hit one venue a lot, The Rave, and have been lucky enough to see everyone from Social D. to Lamb of God. Anyway, what I notice is, no matter that I don't give a fuck about color and I'm there to rock out, folks STILL stare at me like I have some goddamned horns on my head or am not supposed to be there! The last 2 times, I've been there with my boyfriend, who uses a wheelchair, and the stares have been more prevalent. He says, "Oh, they're just jealous of us!" but I know I'm getting stares for being the sole black woman at these shows (the black MEN don't get stared at like I do!) and being with a guy in a wheelchair. It's simply said to not give a fuck, but obviously, I'm bothered. What in the fuck is a girl like me to do?! :-P

[CaliforniaAfrican]

Keep partyin! Do you. You're the only you we've got, Myra. If The Rave is your spot, keep it. Don't allow people's stares and ignorance put you in a box. That's the intention of the stares (intentional or not). Black women are constantly being shamed into what society, even Black men, believe they should be and do. It's bullshit. I have already followed Ms. Tubman and I got my freedom. Shit. Know who you are.

My condolences for the loss of your father. He's with you always, even when you're at The Rave. Peace, sista.

[kifaru]

Not give a flying flip. Be you, love you and try to understand that maybe everybody is not as evolved as you. Secondly use these times as a reminder on those days when you yourself are acting a little less evolved in reference to other people.

[Myra H.]

LOL, less evolved, eh? Thanks :)

kifaru said:

Not give a flying flip. Be you, love you and try to understand that maybe everybody is not as evolved as you. Secondly use these times as a reminder on those days when you yourself are acting a little less evolved in reference to other people.

[Myra H.]

*BIG fat hug for you* ;D

CaliforniaAfrican said:

Keep partyin! Do you. You're the only you we've got, Myra. If The Rave is your spot, keep it. Don't allow people's stares and ignorance put you in a box. That's the intention of the stares (intentional or not). Black women are constantly being shamed into what society, even Black men, believe they should be and do. It's bullshit. I have already followed Ms. Tubman and I got my freedom. Shit. Know who you are.

My condolences for the loss of your father. He's with you always, even when you're at The Rave. Peace, sista.

[sceneless]

Co-sign with Kifaru and CA. Do you, rock out, ignore the stares and/or the ignorant comments. Lots of us have been there. Sorry to hear about your dad. Lost mine 3 years ago. I'm here if you need to talk. Take care

[Mlle d. Sade]

Keep having fun. I know it's hard not to be bothered by people staring at you for you not belonging because of you being a black chick (I also noticed black dudes never get the "you don't belong" as bad)but you can't stop them and I know you "damn sho ain't" gonna stop going where you want to because of some stupid people.

I used to go away when the white kids would stare at me like I have 3 heads for being in their group but now i really don't care because I realized the above was more important and something else very special that can be turned into a plus about being so high profile.

I hear you- the most invisible demographic stared down so harshly for not being "allowed" to be somewhere.

Sorry to hear about your Dad I know what that's like, my dad died almost 10 years ago. If you need blunt simplification I'm always here.

Just do what makes you happy, don't live for them. Keep it up and they'll get tired of staring and even if they don't you won't care.

[Myra H.]

Thank you both :)

Mlle d. Sade said:

Keep having fun. I know it's hard not to be bothered by people staring at you for you not belonging because of you being a black chick (I also noticed black dudes never get the "you don't belong" as bad)but you can't stop them and I know you "damn sho ain't" gonna stop going where you want to because of some stupid people.

I used to go away when the white kids would stare at me like I have 3 heads for being in their group but now i really don't care because I realized the above was more important and something else very special that can be turned into a plus about being so high profile.

I hear you- the most invisible demographic stared down so harshly for not being "allowed" to be somewhere.

Sorry to hear about your Dad I know what that's like, my dad died almost 10 years ago. If you need blunt simplification I'm always here.

Just do what makes you happy, don't live for them. Keep it up and they'll get tired of staring and even if they don't you won't care.

[Rosenda]

Well said Mlle de Sade. Keep on living exactly as you want to and enjoy what makes you smile and dance, Myra. Regardless of who trips and stalls, regardless of who doesn't. You know who should appreciate you the most? YOU. Cause sometimes that is all and the only one you know for sure will. Once you get the second nature hang of being and doing on your own time clock and your own rhythm of what makes you tick and moves you forward, be it it small things or big important decisions, it really just becomes automatic. You jump back and still get affected by and pissed off with bad attitudes or f'ed ups stares, but it becomes more rare that it stops you in your tracks, you know what I mean?

Make all the hell and have ALL the fun! Whoever rolls along with you will have to appreciate you or drop the hell off the side. And for the grieving......cry when you have to and remember some good stuff about your Dad along the way too. He'd want you to be as good to yourself too, for sure!


Oh and SOCIAL DISTORTION they are so amazing live. I've been three times in the past 15 years and they always are fun as hell onstage and DAMN good. :)

[Re:Dwayne..]

I've been to The Rave plenty of times and I have learned to focus on who I went to go see. I don't care about who is looking at me. Let 'em look. Be that "fly in the buttermilk" and swim around in it because it taints their ideas of what Black people are supposed to be into.

[Myra H.]

Oh yeah! Social D was such a fuckin' ball!!!! ;D

Rosenda said:

Well said Mlle de Sade. Keep on living exactly as you want to and enjoy what makes you smile and dance, Myra. Regardless of who trips and stalls, regardless of who doesn't. You know who should appreciate you the most? YOU. Cause sometimes that is all and the only one you know for sure will. Once you get the second nature hang of being and doing on your own time clock and your own rhythm of what makes you tick and moves you forward, be it it small things or big important decisions, it really just becomes automatic. You jump back and still get affected by and pissed off with bad attitudes or f'ed ups stares, but it becomes more rare that it stops you in your tracks, you know what I mean?

Make all the hell and have ALL the fun! Whoever rolls along with you will have to appreciate you or drop the hell off the side. And for the grieving......cry when you have to and remember some good stuff about your Dad along the way too. He'd want you to be as good to yourself too, for sure!


Oh and SOCIAL DISTORTION they are so amazing live. I've been three times in the past 15 years and they always are fun as hell onstage and DAMN good. :)