For Ladies- Have you ever felt that you scare guys?

[Queen Of Filth]

I feel like that sometimes. You know , with whole things about us ladies being all "wierd" , Sometimes I feel as if guys like what they see as a majority , not the girls who are different. Not that I care because I do , it's just that sometimes I get tired of boys running away from me! I don't even say anything to them , but when it comes down to me asking to borrow a pencil or giving a simple compliment , they get all wide eyes and act like they can't speak to me. :(

[Obsidian]

I love that - the intimidation and fear. I sip it up with a straw and laugh at how its bubbly effervescent nature tickles my tum. It is much better they be afraid than they try to do stupid things like place bets on how fast to get you in bed, or "woo you" cause they "think you cute and sweet" [barfs] and other lame ass crap. I straight up tell guys that I'm a weirdo, zombie, out of this world, psychedelic soldier, robot from the future, etc random thing that pops into my head at any moment. Funny thing is, a lot of them like it. My ploy fails. NOOOO! Some are scared away, and those are usually the type whose stink I could smell a mile away aka their selfish purpose for approaching me.

One of my greatest moments was after I saw the new Star Trek movie. Everyone I saw was a member of my Star Fleet crew with me as captain. No one was safe. The weird winds were strong that week and have never really died down cause I've started giving people that Trekkie hand greeting thing.

Okay so I think that being weird is a great way not to attract guys if that's your goal (definitely my goal), mind you you end up attracting the most amazing people to you when you do (attracting amazing people is a good consequence - at least they offer something interesting).

[Rasheeda]

I FEEL YOU 100% GIRL. Story of my life....story of my life...smh lol But on a lighter note, Merry Christmas! The new year will bring braver dudes, not ones that'll run away like punks. lol :-P

[LesYpersound]

i'd rather have the weak fear me then be hit on by motherfuckers who are disrespectful and don't recognize i've got my self-respect and don't need them.

[CocoaPuss Zine]

ooh this is SUCH a good question. i think sometimes i do scare guys because i have my septum pierced and they think i'm all into torture and pain and whatnot, i'm just really gentle looking, i wanted to look more "hardcore". i also think since they think i like pain they think i'm into really hardcore stuff and i'm not, well maybe i am, depends on who you ask. i don't think they run away from me, guys definitely stare at me, but they just can't figure me out. i don't think i necessarily scare anyone. i wear way too much pink for all that.

[the outsider]

I know what you mean about that. Guys find me quiet and intense...I'm not the perky, bubbly, skinny type. I never had the patience for dating/relationship/guy meeting game (emphasis on the word "game"). Black guys don't look at me or if they do, I'm not "black" enough for them. White guys just ignore me or .... whatever.

I say fuck it. Better to scare some guys than end up some asshole that will disrespect you. This is a good way to weed out the wimps and get the guys that are brave enough to accept you for who are.

[Rosenda]

For my entire life. Even when I was really more timid and shy and quiet, when I was younger. I never ever quite "blended in" and guys just thought I was weird and told so to my face. I am so fucking used to it, it's not even funny. They act like they thought I was cute and then it just takes one or two sentences that make their eyes go big and their dick probably go down. "You don't look like you'd think that/be interested in that/have so much to say/--fill in the blank--".

I can see it cross their face before they even step away from me. This is not just in dating, this is also regular people, women, young people, older people, I can see their face glaze over and get upset or confused and back away from me. I have been living with this for my entire fucking life, within my family and outside my family.

Maybe it's just L.A. cause when I visited New York I met some awesome dudes during the 2005 AP events week but none of them live anywhere near me here.


I am truly thankful for the friends who can truly "get" me and like me the way I am. But when it comes to dating, it took me all this time to meet a brother HERE in L.A., let alone any other guy of any ethnic group, to truly accept me. And he ain't available to me right now.

Yes, it was a lovely revelation to find out the friend of many years really does return my affection and respect, love & friendship, but it all happened at a wrong time. Only the future will tell if I'll have the life I want with him.

Even my last boyfriend of 8 years, I unintentionally edited my true self down for him to stay and enjoy me or that long.
Just so I coud have all that really satisfying affection and good sex every single goddamn week.

Fuck that I ain't never doing that again. That editing shit. The very person who is my dream come true but is unavailable to me is the very friend who taught me how wrong it is to edit yourself, you REAL self, down for any man or any woman. That's the fucking business right there and truth. It is a painful contradiction, isn't it?

I am so fucking sick of it, you just don't even know. Not just the brothers, but white asian latino guys too. They like the "exotic" shit but they don't want her to have a brain or talk about anything other than giggle.

They can talk to me a few minutes and it makes them smile and laugh but that's it. I'm in the "funny friend odd chick" category.
I'm the "little sister" "older sister" category. They want an "acceptable" woman or a "helpless" woman. They want a hood bitch who causes drama and actscrazy, or they want a fucking church marm. They don't want anyone to talk a real intellectual conversation out here either. They want a silent porn star who will leave the nextmorning and get the hell out of their lives and make room for the next one to come along.

Here here, The Outsider. But be careful of what your choice is, it is fucking PAINFUL and LONELY when you hit my age and gotta deal with this "oh you too weird/talkative/cynical/strange/I don't get you/what the hell?/you scare me" bullshit with guy. It get old REAL fast and engenders a LOTof fucking anger, and don't ever let that poison you. PLEASE all of you who are dealing with this "I scare you" bullshit or "You confuse me because I can't put you into a box and stereotype you" bullshit, make sure you are ALWAYS good and real to the REST of you and your life and your goals. That is the ONLY thing that keeps me balanced about all t his and the ONLY way you really can handle this fuckedupness over the long term of your life.

And I know, believe me.

[Mlle d. Sade]

Yes. I speak well, I am fairly intelligent and I don't fall for the usual lines/bullshit. Boys and men who never grew up in terms of how they relate to women are fragile things.

It's just weeding out the bullshit, if they fear you, you don't need them.

[Sarah]

i think guys view me as "weird" because i don't act like your predictable/stereotypical black girl. I don't think i "scare" many guys. maybe a few. ppl may think im a cute quiet girl but after listening to my jrock music or finding out that i'm vegan guys are like......oh.....ok........thats interesting.............i guess.............. :/

another thing i have natural hair and i feel like it does intimidate some guys. but i also feel that it works pretty well as a jerk repellant



the outsider said:

I know what you mean about that. Guys find me quiet and intense...I'm not the perky, bubbly, skinny type. I never had the patience for dating/relationship/guy meeting game (emphasis on the word "game"). Black guys don't look at me or if they do, I'm not "black" enough for them. White guys just ignore me or .... whatever.

I say fuck it. Better to scare some guys than end up some asshole that will disrespect you. This is a good way to weed out the wimps and get the guys that are brave enough to accept you for who are.

[Rosenda]

lol at "jerk repellent". :)

[stefany]

Yes, because I dress in an androgynous manner, and tend to be a bit of an old-fashioned gentleman at times, and girls dig it, and guys are just like, goddamn dykes stealing all the girls. Being polite and hitting on are two different things. Maybe you should pay more attention to your lady friend, champ. With your brain, not just your penis. :D

[Mlle d. Sade]

Natural hair is jerk repellent but strangely enough it is also a pretentious attractor. I get a lot of new age types, which is fine but they're always pretentious and closed minded. I also get a lot of guys who have old fashioned and backwards thinking about women attracted to my hair. :/

[Mlle d. Sade]

I need you in my life, lol.

stefany said:

Yes, because I dress in an androgynous manner, and tend to be a bit of an old-fashioned gentleman at times, and girls dig it, and guys are just like, goddamn dykes stealing all the girls. Being polite and hitting on are two different things. Maybe you should pay more attention to your lady friend, champ. With your brain, not just your penis. :D

I'm serious.