conservative parentssss

[kala]

OKAY! i am so done with this household sometimes. my current situation is that even when i graduate, ill still only be 17, aka, still under my parents thumbs.
my parents are VERY conservative. and boring. anyways, i really want some new peircings...only this time on my face, not just ears. i want a labret and...whatever you call an eyebrow peircing haha. its not a big deal at all but to them this is "extreme". which is very annoying.
it took me forever to convince them to let me dye my hair a non-natural hair color. all it was was red. geeez. so i now have to wait till im 18 to get anything done...
haha i probably wont wait that long. once i graduate its all over folks haha.

[Smidgetbynature]

Lol I feel your pain
Im in the same boat too
No piercings, No hair dye, No Makeup, No Boys, No Parties, No Going Out, No Friends(Anyone they doesn't know and they basically dont know any of them) Not allowed to wear black clothes all the time. and thats only my Mother
But Im just counting the days till freedom, cause then life is gonna be sweet

[Mlle d. Sade]

Don't you hate all your friends treating you like a freak because your parent(s) won't allow you to do certain normal things like hang out after 9, hang out with ppl they don't know etc., ?

I hated it.

[Smidgetbynature]

Mlle d. Sade said:

Don't you hate all your friends treating you like a freak because your parent(s) won't allow you to do certain normal things like hang out after 9, hang out with ppl they don't know etc., ?

I hated it.

I do
My parents are ridiculous
If by any chance they do let me out, They have to drive me there and park outside, wait till whatever Im doing is done and bring me home. Any there is anywhere I want to go I HAVE to take my sister with me. It was horrible when they made me take her to the first party I ever went to last year...My first game of spin the bottle was a nightmare.
I wish my parents wouldnt freak about letting me go out...I wasnt till High School they felt it was safe for me to cross the street and walk around my neighborhood by myself.
And they don't like a majority of my friends...They have to be "African" so they'll let me go out with them :P

[V]

I feel for you.

I remember the curfews and such. I also remember not giving a fuck about them and coming home to a very angry mommy. I got punched and hit several times for not going by the curfew.

I'm a different person tho. I prefer to do things my way or scratch and bite my way out. I love my mom, but there was a time I didn't even talk to her. I just went out and did what I wanted.

Not sure if that's what I would suggest for you...but that's what I did.

[kala]

PUNK IS DEAD!? PUNK IS DEAD!? WHAT!
haha that just caught me off gaurd. of course we all know punk is alive and well, and going no where. :D my parents just dont understand my "choices" as they call it. i geuss theyre not super strict all around, but mainly on just stuff that involves changing my appearance, which is unfortunate. im very "artsy" or whatever you wanna call it, so im always drawing (on myself or various surfaces...) and imagining how i can transform myself.
iono im kinda wierd like that. my body is a work of art too (not like that...its more like a canvas haha). and i wanna make it my own and beautiful. my definition includes tattoos and pericings which makes no sense to them unfortunately...

[Mlle d. Sade]

My mom is super over protective and suffocating to such an extreme that my life was basically joyless. Even if I had to live in a homeless shelter, I got out.

[Crystal]

I was in the same boat, but now I'm about to move out, and I'm 17
All I have to say is in my eyes, your lucky.
My parents could careless what I do with my life.
Same with school, if I drop out, they don't care, shit
my dad really doesn't take care of me, my older sisters do.

But I'm just saying, you'll get your freedom though, no worrie

Peace

[kifaru]

Well, I'll offer a little perspective from someone who moved out at 17. Get ready for a hard time if you are really moving out and really ready to take care of yourself. I've spent most of the last 23 years relatively broke and mostly struggling. That is not to say you will be like this but that is my lot in life. Whatever you do, get yourself some birthcontrol, and by that I mean multiple means. Get some foam and some condoms and use them. Do not move in with people who don't have jobs. If you can get loans to get you through four years of school do it. Only work summers if you can. Make as many friends in school as you can remembering that in 2 or 3 years you will probably never speak to those people again. Their opinions and everything else about them really don't mean shit and neither do yours. Get prepared to eat stuff you don't like. Do not use credit cards to buy stuff unless you can pay it off in a month. Do go get a driverls license and some car insurance if you can afford it.

Also remember most parents do not act the way they do because they hate you or want to deny you happiness. They really want to protect you from the pitfalls in life. They may not go about it the right way but that's how it is. Also you are not going to be the same person 5 years from now and 5 years beyond that you will still be different. I have seen more than a few young know it all's fall flat on their faces and run back to mama when the heat was on. Don't burn any bridges and try not to rush into being an "adult". Best of luck to you.

[Obsidian]

I agree with Kifaru's advice.

Having a roof over your head without having to pay any rent is sometimes better than being out on your own struggling.

And then there is compromise. Find a happy middle ground with your parents. If conversation with your parents go like this "But mom ... dad ... why can't I!?!?!?!" Then you have a problem. Ask like an adult and take the "no" in stride. Your parents will respect you for that and might ease off. Playing a little into their views and ideals helps you to get what you want while living at home.

I know this because at 24 I still live at home as I am still a full time student (and studio apartments here run 1200 to 1500 if you're lucky and you want a dump - land shortage = living accommodation shortage). I'll probably be living here when I finish school years later to save up to buy a home (nature of the game). My parents have their rules and views. I'll go to church without a fuss if they ask me, do favors for them if they want, and take their opinions. The alternative would be getting kicked out (And I did have that happen to me when I returned from university abroad) and right now being homeless is worse than going to church or wearing some silly flowery outfit. You've got to conform a bit to get what you want (unfortunately). In return I get to punk-goth it up as much as I want; although tatts and piercings have never been of interest to me right now. As you get older, things get better as your parents understand you are an adult, but you need to help to force them to understand (getting good grades helps give you a lot of pull too). I know things are different in the US, but considering the financial situation in the world right now, staying at home with your unbearable parents might be the best option (that is unless you have parents like one of my friends. They're senior citizen English racist control freaks who won't let their daughter go anywhere or do anything cause she gets seizures and they don't want her to harm herself even though she's 22. She needs to move out).

Or find a loophole. Can't wear black all the time? Put on the black when you're out the house. Tattoos? Place in a hidden place. I mean, if you are 18 and have to ask permission to do things with your own money ... Not cool. If your doing things with your parents money ...

[Jenny Taelya]

Aw! I tottally feel your pain, as I am the daughter of two Nigerians and the road to "leniancy" of any sort was a long one. I'm going to go with OP on this one though, seeing as while self expression is nice and often essential, respecting the people you live with is anyother way to show that "this punk stuff aint that bad". My family was shocked after my locs and septum ring didn't turn me into a gun toting loser. I flip my ring up/take it out around my family out of respect (since I did do it behind their back and I know they still don't like it too much...)

Letting them know that you can consider their opinion allows them to see you in another light and eventually treat you like more of an adult.

I think growing up, a lot of us (me included) forget that our growth is a process for our parents as well, its hard to see the tit sucking, diaper wearing, screaming banshee that was once their precious baby as an adult capable of making reasonable decisions. XD

Give them sometime to see you for what you are, and in the meantime set a good example :)

-Uchenna

[Mlle d. Sade]

BUT if living with your folks and having that nice roof over your head and no responsibilities leads to a NERVOUS FUCKING BREAKDOWN- GET OUT!!!

I'm serious; get out, get out.

I don't know if any of you "adults" have ever had it like me (or think you do) but my home life with my mom was toxic and suffocating and put me in a position of needing serious psychiatric help TWICE.
I don't think some people really get it, how damaging and self-effacing living with a serious over-protective parent can be, It got to the point were me and my brother were just sitting inside all day terrified of the outside world with no friends outside the house.

I'll gladly be broke (no change there) and hungry if I can have my fucking sanity and a sense of self and a sense of self worth. I didn't want to feel empty and exhausted anymore.
Everyone thinks it's trivial nonsense but for people who it becomes a real problem for it's a mental health issue. If you can't see that, then you've never really been through it.

I had a friend who's parent's took away all her rights and put her in a uniform (much like my mom did to me) and she woke up one day and had nothing of her own- from herself. She had nothing she could claim as individual to her she was living their life, not hers- see what I'm getting at? Living by a script laid out for you by people who want you to fit into their mold and never being allowed to smell the daises- that way they don't have to even try to get to know you as an individual is all very fine if you have the COPING MECHANISMS to deal with being stripped of any free will but it puts you on suicide watch if you can't deal with it.

I'm really very tired of people minimizing the pain and struggles of others just because they can't understand it.
Can't understand never being able to pursue any of their own interests. Never being able to express themselves or have any joy whatsoever in their dull, pathetic life. Never making any decisions for themselves. Never being able to take a trip to the nearest city with friends to see a show. Did I mention never being able to pursue the ONE thing that keeps them going because someone has to control their life down to the WIRE?

Having to live their borrowed time on someone else's terms. Watching the world past them by.. .

Never being happy, EVER. Some people just have no idea.

OR: you can follow the advice of people like kifaru and obsidian- stay at home and live an ugly mess just because the rent is free. Whatever.
I guess anger is good for you because your concerns are so petty, meaningless and childish.

[Mlle d. Sade]

I'm very angry right now, dude! *cries then vomits*

Emo(and not scared to say it) said:

Mlle d. Sade said:

BUT if living with your folks and having that nice roof over your head and no responsibilities leads to a NERVOUS FUCKING BREAKDOWN- GET OUT!!!

I'm serious; get out, get out.

I don't know if any of you "adults" have ever had it like me (or think you do) but my home life with my mom was toxic and suffocating and put me in a position of needing serious psychiatric help TWICE.
I don't think some people really get it, how damaging and self-effacing living with a serious over-protective parent can be, It got to the point were me and my brother were just sitting inside all day terrified of the outside world with no friends outside the house.

I'll gladly be broke (no change there) and hungry if I can have my fucking sanity and a sense of self and a sense of self worth. I didn't want to feel empty and exhausted anymore.
Everyone thinks it's trivial nonsense but for people who it becomes a real problem for it's a mental health issue. If you can't see that, then you've never really been through it.

I had a friend who's parent's took away all her rights and put her in a uniform (much like my mom did to me) and she woke up one day and had nothing of her own- from herself. She had nothing she could claim as individual to her she was living their life, not hers- see what I'm getting at? Living by a script laid out for you by people who want you to fit into their mold and never being allowed to smell the daises- that way they don't have to even try to get to know you as an individual is all very fine if you have the COPING MECHANISMS to deal with being stripped of any free will but it puts you on suicide watch if you can't deal with it.

I'm really very tired of people minimizing the pain and struggles of others just because they can't understand it.
Can't understand never being able to pursue any of their own interests. Never being able to express themselves or have any joy whatsoever in their dull, pathetic life. Never making any decisions for themselves. Never being able to take a trip to the nearest city with friends to see a show. Did I mention never being able to pursue the ONE thing that keeps them going because someone has to control their life down to the WIRE?

Having to live their borrowed time on someone else's terms. Watching the world past them by.. .

Never being happy, EVER. Some people just have no idea.

OR: you can follow the advice of people like kifaru and obsidian- stay at home and live an ugly mess just because the rent is free. Whatever.
I guess anger is good for you because your concerns are so petty, meaningless and childish.

That's good writing right there!