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LesYpersound said:I concur ...
and a gap year should be more of a tradition in the US anyway.
i have to get an ultrasound of my kidneys and an EKG because my blood pressure is high and my nephrologist wants to make sure i'm still in remission. am i still in remission? i have no idea. i'm too tired to fight kidney disease among all the other things i have to deal with in my life. boo kidney disease. but my new guy (who is on here by the way) is going to be there to hold my hand for both of these things. i'm very lucky. but i still have to go back to the doctor on the 18th to talk about these results. i have no idea what they are going to say. i do kinda feel like shit, but hopefully that's my normal crankiness and not something else.
enjoy your health while you have it.
if you are going to be a douche, be a good one, like the vinegar kind. the flower smelling ones are kind of annoying. do vaginas need to smell like flowers? probably not.
^^^ I wish I were lying. If I were lying I'd be happy right now. I come from a family that cannot handle any kind of difference and lives to stamp it out. I just don't know what to do. I feel trapped. I have to hide everything so much I can't even remember feeling fine.
They don't know anything about me and they don't care. They can't have real conversations, don't talk on a personal level. I can't stand it and I can't believe we've lived like this for so long.
CocoaPuss Zine said:i have to get an ultrasound of my kidneys and an EKG because my blood pressure is high and my nephrologist wants to make sure i'm still in remission. am i still in remission? i have no idea. i'm too tired to fight kidney disease among all the other things i have to deal with in my life. boo kidney disease. but my new guy (who is on here by the way) is going to be there to hold my hand for both of these things. i'm very lucky. but i still have to go back to the doctor on the 18th to talk about these results. i have no idea what they are going to say. i do kinda feel like shit, but hopefully that's my normal crankiness and not something else.
enjoy your health while you have it.
if you are going to be a douche, be a good one, like the vinegar kind. the flower smelling ones are kind of annoying. do vaginas need to smell like flowers? probably not.
They need to come up with puff pastry smelling kind. I'd like it to smell like strawberry shortcake.
Yay for new guy! I always helps to have a dick in times of stress. (if it's not like that, I apologize).
I wish I could that distant from my family. But they insist on nagging and being worrysome. When I'm able I'm going to move and not tell anyone where I am but they'd probably put and apb out on me they're so clingy.
That's why I want my car to run- I could leave and not come back without asking for a ride and having control.
the only way i got to be so distant was having a job where i had to work every weekend and every holiday so i never really had to deal with them. if you could find a job like that, then that'd be a good start. but yeah if you live with them, then i can imagine that would be kinda hard to deal with. that was one of my main reasons for going to college, i had to get away from all of them.
Mlle d. Sade said:I wish I could that distant from my family. But they insist on nagging and being worrysome. When I'm able I'm going to move and not tell anyone where I am but they'd probably put and apb out on me they're so clingy.
That's why I want my car to run- I could leave and not come back without asking for a ride and having control.
I hate them all too. Some days I'm just sick- they're all so fake- no one talks to one another just stupid superficial bullshit. No one has a real personality or wants one. No one thinks for themselves and they tend to ostracize those who do. Big time.
I'm tired of being treated like an invalid, an ill person because I want more than a dull, boring life based on conventions thought up by dull boring people.
CocoaPuss Zine said:the only way i got to be so distant was having a job where i had to work every weekend and every holiday so i never really had to deal with them. if you could find a job like that, then that'd be a good start. but yeah if you live with them, then i can imagine that would be kinda hard to deal with. that was one of my main reasons for going to college, i had to get away from all of them.
Mlle d. Sade said:I wish I could that distant from my family. But they insist on nagging and being worrysome. When I'm able I'm going to move and not tell anyone where I am but they'd probably put and apb out on me they're so clingy.
That's why I want my car to run- I could leave and not come back without asking for a ride and having control.
I had a job like that, it sucked. I was always the less clever person who never lied like the others ("I have school so I can't work 5 days a week" or any of the other lies lazy people tell to get out of work) so I ended up getting worked to death. I know better, now. I'll lie just like the rest of the lazy children.
I also went to college but didn't want to be there (and they wouldn't listen- life is just a conveyor belt people's feelings don't matter you just go through the motions) so I left. Then because my point wasn't clear enough I enrolled in another college because they can't take no for an answer and my life isn't mine to live, it's theirs to direct.
Blocking every thing out only got me so far- by the time I was done I was so numb. Yay for blocking everything out, it's still working- kinda.
Blocking everything out and going through the motions other people want you to go through is the only way to get through life.
edit- and distractions. they are helpful. I read a lot of books and watch a lot of movies. they help me forget my life will never be my own. ..at least not for the next 3 years.
Figure out which part pisses me off (from GNN; so be wary of pre-edits.)
Figure out which part pisses me off (from GNN; so be wary of pre-edits.)




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Afro-punk is a platform for the other Black experience, the one we don't see in our media. D.I.Y (Do It Yourself) is the foundation.
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